1 00:00:02,256 --> 00:00:05,919 ♪ You can do what you wanna do ♪ 2 00:00:05,993 --> 00:00:09,190 ♪ In living color♪ 3 00:00:09,263 --> 00:00:11,823 - ♪ In living color♪ - ♪ You know what I'm sayin'♪ 4 00:00:11,899 --> 00:00:14,493 ♪ You can do what you wanna do ♪ 5 00:00:14,569 --> 00:00:16,560 ♪ In living color♪ 6 00:00:19,273 --> 00:00:21,332 ♪ In living color♪ 7 00:00:21,409 --> 00:00:23,639 ♪ You can walk on the moon Float like a balloon ♪ 8 00:00:23,711 --> 00:00:26,111 ♪ It's never too late and it's never too soon ♪ 9 00:00:26,180 --> 00:00:28,171 ♪ Take it from me It's a'ight to be ♪ 10 00:00:28,249 --> 00:00:30,217 ♪ In living color♪ 11 00:00:30,284 --> 00:00:32,912 ♪ How would you feel knowing prejudice was obsolete ♪ 12 00:00:32,987 --> 00:00:35,217 ♪ And all mankind danced to the exact beat ♪ 13 00:00:35,289 --> 00:00:37,382 ♪ And at night it was safe to walk down the street ♪ 14 00:00:37,458 --> 00:00:41,451 ♪ You can do what you wanna do ♪ 15 00:00:41,529 --> 00:00:44,157 ♪ In living color♪ 16 00:00:44,231 --> 00:00:45,664 ♪ In living color♪ 17 00:00:45,733 --> 00:00:49,225 ♪ You can do what you wanna do ♪ 18 00:00:49,303 --> 00:00:51,498 ♪ In living color♪ 19 00:00:51,572 --> 00:00:54,040 ♪ In living color♪ 20 00:00:54,108 --> 00:00:56,508 ♪ Everybody here is equally kind ♪ 21 00:00:56,577 --> 00:00:58,807 ♪ In living color♪ 22 00:00:58,879 --> 00:01:01,507 ♪ What's mine is yours and what's yours is mine ♪ 23 00:01:01,582 --> 00:01:03,015 ♪ In living color♪ 24 00:01:03,084 --> 00:01:05,052 ♪ How would you feel knowing everybody was your friend ♪ 25 00:01:05,119 --> 00:01:07,679 ♪ From thin to thick and through thick and thin ♪ 26 00:01:07,755 --> 00:01:10,019 ♪ And egotistical trips was put to an end ♪ 27 00:01:10,091 --> 00:01:13,527 ♪ You can do what you wanna do ♪ 28 00:01:13,594 --> 00:01:16,427 ♪ In living color♪ 29 00:01:16,497 --> 00:01:18,431 ♪ In living color♪ 30 00:01:18,499 --> 00:01:20,433 ♪ You can walk on the moon Float like a balloon ♪ 31 00:01:20,501 --> 00:01:22,901 ♪ It's never too late and it's never too soon ♪ 32 00:01:22,970 --> 00:01:24,938 ♪ Take it from me It's a'ight to be ♪ 33 00:01:25,006 --> 00:01:26,940 ♪ In living color♪ 34 00:01:27,008 --> 00:01:29,067 ♪ How would you feel knowing prejudice was obsolete ♪ 35 00:01:29,143 --> 00:01:31,338 ♪ And all mankind danced to the exact beat ♪ 36 00:01:31,412 --> 00:01:33,710 ♪ And at night it was safe to walk down the street ♪ 37 00:01:33,781 --> 00:01:38,548 - ♪ In living color♪ - ♪ You can do what you wanna do ♪ 38 00:01:38,619 --> 00:01:40,587 ♪ In living color♪♪ 39 00:01:45,059 --> 00:01:47,960 Ladies and gentlemen, Keenen Ivory Wayans. 40 00:01:57,738 --> 00:02:00,866 Everybody made it. All right. 41 00:02:00,941 --> 00:02:03,671 - How you doing? - [Audience Cheering] 42 00:02:03,744 --> 00:02:06,178 Good. I'm Keenen Ivory Wayans. This is In Living Color. 43 00:02:06,247 --> 00:02:10,047 This is our last show of our first season. We made it through the first one. 44 00:02:10,117 --> 00:02:14,611 We want to thank y'all for all the support you gave us. And we'll be back next time. 45 00:02:14,689 --> 00:02:16,884 [Audience Cheering] 46 00:02:19,527 --> 00:02:23,588 I gotta say hello to the guys from Orange Drive. 47 00:02:23,664 --> 00:02:25,598 [Men] Aw, yeah.! 48 00:02:25,666 --> 00:02:27,964 Give them a hand. Give it up for 'em. 49 00:02:28,035 --> 00:02:30,503 [Applause] 50 00:02:30,571 --> 00:02:34,302 America, you have no idea who the guys from Orange Drive are. 51 00:02:34,375 --> 00:02:36,434 But they're a group of obnoxious, little kids... 52 00:02:36,510 --> 00:02:39,035 that kept banging on my door bugging me for tickets. 53 00:02:39,113 --> 00:02:43,209 So I hooked them up. So now they're here. 54 00:02:43,284 --> 00:02:47,277 We're gonna have fun tonight. This is our last one. We're gonna try to go out with a bang. 55 00:02:47,354 --> 00:02:51,791 Before we do that, say hello to S.W. One, my D.J. 56 00:02:51,859 --> 00:02:54,919 [Audience Cheering] 57 00:02:57,164 --> 00:03:01,100 And to the Fly Girls, who promised they won't wear any of these outfits next year. 58 00:03:01,168 --> 00:03:04,262 Starting over here. Carrie Ann, Deidre... 59 00:03:04,338 --> 00:03:06,806 - Lisa, Michelle. - [Man] Lisa.! 60 00:03:06,874 --> 00:03:10,708 Sit for a minute. We'll be right back. 61 00:03:10,778 --> 00:03:14,578 ♪ You can do what you wanna do ♪ 62 00:03:14,648 --> 00:03:16,741 ♪ In living color♪♪ 63 00:03:18,519 --> 00:03:21,113 One dollar. Try and dunk the clown. 64 00:03:21,188 --> 00:03:24,680 Only one dollar. Try your luck for just a buck. 65 00:03:24,759 --> 00:03:29,389 Try your luck. One dollar. Dunk the clown. One... 66 00:03:29,463 --> 00:03:31,727 - [Dings] - Try again. 67 00:03:31,799 --> 00:03:34,097 One dollar. Dunk the clown. 68 00:03:34,168 --> 00:03:36,136 - [Dings] - Try again. One dollar. 69 00:03:36,203 --> 00:03:40,162 Hey, wait a minute. I just hit the target. Why didn't you fall in? 70 00:03:40,241 --> 00:03:43,074 Oh, fall in, huh? 71 00:03:43,144 --> 00:03:46,545 And drink up all this water and suffocate, huh? 72 00:03:46,614 --> 00:03:49,879 Float on my back like a dead man. That would be pretty funny, huh? 73 00:03:49,950 --> 00:03:52,418 - [Giggling] Yeah. - I don't think so. 74 00:03:53,487 --> 00:03:55,421 Homey don't play that. 75 00:03:55,489 --> 00:03:59,482 - [Horn Honking] - Homey's One-stop Carnival. Step right up. 76 00:03:59,560 --> 00:04:02,120 Step right up, ladies and gentlemen. Step right up. 77 00:04:02,196 --> 00:04:04,323 - [Horn Honks] - Are you a real clown? 78 00:04:04,398 --> 00:04:06,332 No, I'm your daddy. That's the clown. 79 00:04:08,235 --> 00:04:09,964 What can I do for you, little girl? 80 00:04:10,037 --> 00:04:12,062 Can you make me a balloon animal? 81 00:04:12,139 --> 00:04:14,869 Sure. How about a little doggy? 82 00:04:14,942 --> 00:04:17,843 - Yeah. - Yeah. 83 00:04:17,912 --> 00:04:20,210 Homey once had a little doggy just like this. 84 00:04:20,281 --> 00:04:22,272 His name was Pal-o-mine. 85 00:04:22,349 --> 00:04:26,877 Pet him. Pal-o-mine. P-A-L-O, mine. 86 00:04:27,922 --> 00:04:30,516 Used to love to play fetch the stick. 87 00:04:30,591 --> 00:04:35,528 Yeah. Till one day a cop car came by and ran over his back legs. 88 00:04:35,596 --> 00:04:38,121 He ain't no pal o' mine no more. 89 00:04:39,200 --> 00:04:41,634 - Here you go. - You're a stupid clown. 90 00:04:41,702 --> 00:04:43,693 Yeah? 91 00:04:45,606 --> 00:04:48,336 - One-stop Carnival. One-stop Carnival. - [Horn Honking] 92 00:04:48,409 --> 00:04:50,434 Step right up. Step right up. 93 00:04:50,511 --> 00:04:54,277 Hey, clown. Can you guess my wife's weight? 94 00:04:54,348 --> 00:04:56,339 Sure. One dollar. 95 00:05:01,288 --> 00:05:04,223 Okay, she's about... 96 00:05:04,291 --> 00:05:07,192 I'd say... one fat bitch. 97 00:05:14,869 --> 00:05:17,235 Hey, he's pretty good. 98 00:05:17,304 --> 00:05:19,295 [Horn Honking] 99 00:05:21,242 --> 00:05:23,710 - Homey's One-stop Carnival. Step right up. - [Horn Honking] 100 00:05:23,777 --> 00:05:27,110 - Hey, Homey, what's this? - That's the Homey Whirl-Twirl. 101 00:05:27,181 --> 00:05:29,115 - Want a ride? - Yeah. 102 00:05:29,183 --> 00:05:32,949 One dollar. Have a seat. 103 00:05:33,020 --> 00:05:37,252 All right. Round and round you go. 104 00:05:37,324 --> 00:05:41,317 Round and round you go. Where you stop, only Homey knows. 105 00:05:41,395 --> 00:05:44,922 - Round and round I spin your dumb ass. - Okay, Homey. 106 00:05:44,999 --> 00:05:48,662 - You better hang on tight, because you might not last. - Homey, now I am sick. 107 00:05:48,736 --> 00:05:51,500 - You said you want to go faster, huh? - No, Homey! 108 00:05:51,572 --> 00:05:55,668 Round and round you still must go to pay for your sins that kept Homey down so low. 109 00:05:59,647 --> 00:06:02,377 So how do you feel about yourself now? 110 00:06:03,484 --> 00:06:05,418 I feel dizzy and nauseous, Homey. 111 00:06:05,486 --> 00:06:09,047 Good. That's the same way I felt after eight years in prison. 112 00:06:11,191 --> 00:06:13,785 Puppet time. Puppet time. 113 00:06:13,861 --> 00:06:16,557 - [Horn Honking] - Gather round. 114 00:06:18,232 --> 00:06:20,291 Pay careful attention, ladies and gentlemen... 115 00:06:20,367 --> 00:06:23,564 'cause this puppet show has a certain message to it. 116 00:06:23,637 --> 00:06:26,265 I want you to meet Mr. Establishment. 117 00:06:27,408 --> 00:06:29,342 Say hello to the nice people. 118 00:06:29,410 --> 00:06:32,379 [High-pitched Voice] Hello, nice people. 119 00:06:32,446 --> 00:06:36,849 Now... tell the nice people how you've tried to keep Homey down. 120 00:06:36,917 --> 00:06:39,784 Well, I've structured society in such a way... 121 00:06:39,853 --> 00:06:42,720 that men like Homey face nearly impossible odds... 122 00:06:42,790 --> 00:06:45,987 of ever achieving any sort of educational opportunity. 123 00:06:46,060 --> 00:06:49,223 Therefore, they're unable to obtain gainful employment... 124 00:06:49,296 --> 00:06:52,663 thus forcing them to turn to an alternate source of income. 125 00:06:52,733 --> 00:06:56,328 Sooner or later, they just end up in jail, just like Homey. 126 00:06:58,105 --> 00:07:01,973 That's right. Now let's show them how Homey gets back at Mr. Establishment. 127 00:07:02,042 --> 00:07:03,976 Shall we? 128 00:07:04,044 --> 00:07:05,978 [High-pitched Voice] Sure. 129 00:07:11,618 --> 00:07:13,916 Very good. 130 00:07:13,988 --> 00:07:16,354 So, what have we learned, if nothing else? 131 00:07:16,423 --> 00:07:20,723 Homey... don't play that. 132 00:07:21,795 --> 00:07:24,059 Very good. Now take your bow. 133 00:07:25,833 --> 00:07:27,767 The end. One dollar. 134 00:07:27,835 --> 00:07:30,326 [Horn Honking] 135 00:07:36,276 --> 00:07:39,473 Uh, me and my wife, we've been having some... 136 00:07:39,546 --> 00:07:42,379 uh, sexual problems. 137 00:07:42,449 --> 00:07:45,782 I guess it's 'cause I have been under a lot of stress and... 138 00:07:45,853 --> 00:07:49,220 maybe I do harbor some misplaced anger, but... 139 00:07:49,289 --> 00:07:51,757 you know, I think most guys do go through this. 140 00:07:51,825 --> 00:07:54,919 - Am I right, fellas? - [Laughter] 141 00:07:56,030 --> 00:07:58,931 This ain't The Oprah Winfrey Show? 142 00:07:58,999 --> 00:08:01,524 Excuse me. 143 00:08:16,383 --> 00:08:20,752 Hey! So they finally rented that place, huh? 144 00:08:20,821 --> 00:08:25,087 Been about two years. Sure hope that slumlord changed the carpet. 145 00:08:25,159 --> 00:08:28,390 It was so stink over there, I could taste it over here. 146 00:08:28,462 --> 00:08:30,396 Mm-hmm. Oh, by the way... 147 00:08:30,464 --> 00:08:34,161 I love what you did with those little milk crates... that little table you made. 148 00:08:34,234 --> 00:08:36,759 What's that, art deco? 149 00:08:36,837 --> 00:08:40,773 Yeah. Look at me rattling on and on like you know who I am. 150 00:08:40,841 --> 00:08:44,140 Hi, girl. I'm Bonita Batrell. I've been here all my life. 151 00:08:44,211 --> 00:08:47,078 I know everybody in this neighborhood. Mm-hmm. 152 00:08:47,147 --> 00:08:49,547 Yeah, girl, there's some fine people in this neighborhood. 153 00:08:49,616 --> 00:08:53,052 There's a lot of trash too. But I ain't one to gossip. 154 00:08:54,254 --> 00:08:56,779 Hey, there goes Mavis and her kids. 155 00:08:56,857 --> 00:08:59,189 Mavis! 156 00:08:59,259 --> 00:09:02,660 Hey, I see you got the whole gang out there today, huh? 157 00:09:03,797 --> 00:09:07,289 Them kids look like a pack of rag muffins. 158 00:09:07,367 --> 00:09:10,427 Gotta wrap them up in newspaper to take them to Sunday school. 159 00:09:10,504 --> 00:09:12,699 Mmm, mm-mmm. You see that little one down there? 160 00:09:12,773 --> 00:09:15,867 That little one. No, the one down there with the snot in his nose. 161 00:09:15,943 --> 00:09:18,377 Mm-hmm. That's my little godson, Chuckie. 162 00:09:18,445 --> 00:09:21,903 Hey, Chuckie. Hey, Chuckster. 163 00:09:21,982 --> 00:09:25,645 Hey, Chuckie wucky doodle. You gonna give your godmother a kiss? 164 00:09:25,719 --> 00:09:27,653 [Kissing Sound] 165 00:09:28,889 --> 00:09:31,289 That's a little crack addict in the making there. 166 00:09:32,793 --> 00:09:35,193 Honey, I'm telling you. All them kids do is beg. 167 00:09:35,262 --> 00:09:38,129 "Give me," "Loan me," "Can you spare?" Every time you turn around. 168 00:09:38,198 --> 00:09:41,395 Neither one of them would ever say, "Here, dog. Here's a bone." 169 00:09:41,468 --> 00:09:44,801 Now, the mama, every time I open my door, she's hanging out there with a cup. 170 00:09:44,872 --> 00:09:47,568 She needs some flour. She needs some bread. She needs some eggs. 171 00:09:47,641 --> 00:09:51,907 She need to take her ass to the supermarket. That's what she needs to do. 172 00:09:51,979 --> 00:09:54,539 Girl, I just don't understand people like that. 173 00:09:54,615 --> 00:09:57,209 'Cause I'm trying to better myself. That's right. 174 00:09:57,284 --> 00:10:00,276 I'm enrolled in the Robert Feon School of Beauty... 175 00:10:00,354 --> 00:10:03,050 and the Ace Truck Driving School. 176 00:10:03,123 --> 00:10:05,887 So I'm gonna have something, you see? 177 00:10:05,959 --> 00:10:08,792 Hey! There go my home girl, Gretchen. 178 00:10:08,862 --> 00:10:12,764 Hey, Gretchen. Hey, girl. I'm scared of you. 179 00:10:12,833 --> 00:10:15,802 You look good. Love what you did with your hair. 180 00:10:17,371 --> 00:10:21,239 Shake it, but don't break it. But if you do, save Chuck a piece. 181 00:10:23,477 --> 00:10:27,573 That fool went and spent the baby's diaper money to get her weave tightened. 182 00:10:29,483 --> 00:10:32,509 Girl, the baby was hollering like a banshee all night. 183 00:10:32,586 --> 00:10:35,282 I'm telling you, I'm glad I ain't got to worry about that... 184 00:10:35,355 --> 00:10:37,653 'cause I got me some Cherokee on my mama's side. 185 00:10:37,724 --> 00:10:40,386 So hair ain't no luxury item in my family. 186 00:10:40,460 --> 00:10:42,451 Matter of fact, when I was a girl... 187 00:10:42,529 --> 00:10:46,226 my hair was long and straight and black and thick. 188 00:10:46,300 --> 00:10:48,530 They used to call me Pocahontas. 189 00:10:48,602 --> 00:10:52,299 Then one day I was heating up some ham hocks, and my ponytail caught on fire. 190 00:10:52,372 --> 00:10:54,602 Ain't never come back. 191 00:10:56,143 --> 00:10:58,475 Just don't understan... Huh? 192 00:10:58,545 --> 00:11:01,810 Oh, oh, oh, him. That's Mr. Washington down there. 193 00:11:01,882 --> 00:11:04,180 Yeah, he's like a father to me. 194 00:11:04,251 --> 00:11:06,310 Hey, Daddy Washington. 195 00:11:06,386 --> 00:11:08,946 It's me, your little fuzzy-wuzzy. 196 00:11:10,057 --> 00:11:12,116 You lookin' mighty spry today. 197 00:11:12,192 --> 00:11:15,355 Got some spring in your step. Mm-hmm. 198 00:11:15,429 --> 00:11:18,421 You'd have some spring in your step too if you were sleeping with... 199 00:11:18,498 --> 00:11:20,432 the preacher's 22-year-old daughter. 200 00:11:20,500 --> 00:11:22,934 Poor Mrs. Washington. She don't know what to do with herself. 201 00:11:23,003 --> 00:11:26,734 All she do is sit around eating the government cheese and passing gas all day. 202 00:11:26,807 --> 00:11:30,766 Girl's stomach done blown up so big, look like she got food poisoning or something. 203 00:11:30,844 --> 00:11:33,278 Mmm, mmm, mmm, it's a trip. But I ain't one to gossip. 204 00:11:33,347 --> 00:11:36,805 If anyone asks you, you ain't heard it from me. No, you haven't. 205 00:11:36,883 --> 00:11:39,909 Oh, oh, you gotta... Look at. There goes Miss Jenkins right there. 206 00:11:39,987 --> 00:11:41,921 Mm-hmm. That's good old Mrs. Jenkins, honey. 207 00:11:41,989 --> 00:11:44,651 I dare somebody say something bad about Mrs. Jenkins. 208 00:11:44,725 --> 00:11:47,990 Don't nobody better say nothing bad about Miss Jenkins, 'cause I'll go crazy. 209 00:11:48,061 --> 00:11:53,192 That's when I'll lose it. Miss Jenkins is a sterling example of a human being. 210 00:11:53,267 --> 00:11:55,201 Mmm, mmm-mmm-mmm. 211 00:11:55,269 --> 00:11:58,670 Hey, Miss Jenkins! She is something else, honey. 212 00:11:58,739 --> 00:12:01,299 Just don't let her take her shoes off in your apartment. 213 00:12:01,375 --> 00:12:04,401 Feet smell like a dill pickle. 214 00:12:04,478 --> 00:12:07,641 Yeah, there's some nice people in this neighborhood. There's some fine folks. 215 00:12:07,714 --> 00:12:10,376 You gonna like it just fine. You just do me a favor. 216 00:12:10,450 --> 00:12:13,476 You stay away from nosy, gossiping hens, and you be okay. 217 00:12:13,553 --> 00:12:17,421 All right. I got to go now. The Home Shopping Club's coming on. See you later. 218 00:12:23,230 --> 00:12:25,721 - ♪♪ [Woman Rapping] - ♪♪ [Rapping] 219 00:12:25,799 --> 00:12:27,733 ♪♪ [Continues] 220 00:12:28,802 --> 00:12:30,736 ♪♪ [Continues] 221 00:12:32,039 --> 00:12:36,203 ♪♪ [Man Rapping] 222 00:12:38,545 --> 00:12:41,036 ♪♪ [Rapping Continues] 223 00:12:49,723 --> 00:12:52,487 [Man] You loved him in Police Academy One... 224 00:12:52,559 --> 00:12:55,960 Two, Three, Four... 225 00:12:56,029 --> 00:12:58,998 Five, Six and Seven. 226 00:12:59,066 --> 00:13:03,969 Now you can see him live on stage in a special evening of performance entitled... 227 00:13:04,037 --> 00:13:06,801 Michael Winslow: A One Man Show. 228 00:13:06,873 --> 00:13:09,137 [Applause] 229 00:13:11,445 --> 00:13:14,346 [Mimicking Rotary Phone Dialing] 230 00:13:18,919 --> 00:13:23,288 [Mimicking Line Ringing] 231 00:13:23,357 --> 00:13:25,382 [Applause] 232 00:13:27,294 --> 00:13:32,061 [Mimicking Engine Cranking, Sputtering] 233 00:13:34,234 --> 00:13:37,397 [Sputtering Continues] 234 00:13:39,673 --> 00:13:42,801 [Mimicking Engine Starting] 235 00:13:42,876 --> 00:13:47,404 David Ansen of Newsweek Magazine calls it "Spellbinding." 236 00:13:47,481 --> 00:13:51,281 [Mimicking Machine Gun Firing] 237 00:13:56,123 --> 00:13:58,114 Clive Barnes of the New York Post says... 238 00:13:58,191 --> 00:14:00,751 "Winslow makes us listen ultimately to ourselves... 239 00:14:00,827 --> 00:14:02,761 and what we hear is quite ugly. " 240 00:14:02,829 --> 00:14:06,925 [Mimicking Turkey Gobbling] 241 00:14:10,837 --> 00:14:13,135 [Recording Of Crowd Cheering] 242 00:14:13,206 --> 00:14:15,674 - ♪♪ ["Charge"On Organ] - [Bat Hits Baseball] 243 00:14:15,742 --> 00:14:17,835 [Man] It's a home run.! 244 00:14:17,911 --> 00:14:20,072 [Crowd Cheering] 245 00:14:23,216 --> 00:14:27,243 Don't miss Michael Winslow this June at the Winter Garden Theater. 246 00:14:34,060 --> 00:14:36,620 The experience is sound-sational. 247 00:14:39,125 --> 00:14:41,059 [Man] This month on HBO. 248 00:14:41,127 --> 00:14:43,891 She's loud, she's ugly, she wears an overcoat... 249 00:14:43,963 --> 00:14:46,727 and she's a screaming success. 250 00:14:46,799 --> 00:14:49,666 She's Samantha Kinison. 251 00:14:50,903 --> 00:14:53,064 Yeah, it's great to be here tonight. 252 00:14:54,273 --> 00:14:57,436 I guess you can tell it's my anniversary. 253 00:14:57,510 --> 00:15:01,378 That's right. I've been married for five years... 254 00:15:01,447 --> 00:15:04,439 to a [Bleep] man. [Screaming] 255 00:15:06,486 --> 00:15:08,954 I try not to be bitter about it though. 256 00:15:09,021 --> 00:15:13,151 I guess I just pictured marriage as being somewhat different, you know. 257 00:15:13,226 --> 00:15:15,421 I guess I just pictured something other than... 258 00:15:15,495 --> 00:15:18,862 some lazy slob laying around reading Playboys and drinking Black Label. 259 00:15:18,931 --> 00:15:22,367 "Morning, honey. Sure wish I could stick around waiting on you hand and foot... 260 00:15:22,435 --> 00:15:25,893 [Bleep] your [Bleep] all day, but one of us has gotta earn a living!" 261 00:15:25,972 --> 00:15:28,406 [Screaming] 262 00:15:32,345 --> 00:15:34,279 I tell you. 263 00:15:36,482 --> 00:15:39,781 Maybe next time I'll consider marrying a little higher up on the food chain. 264 00:15:39,852 --> 00:15:42,252 Like maybe an amoeba or something. 265 00:15:42,321 --> 00:15:45,017 [Chuckling] 266 00:15:45,091 --> 00:15:47,059 I'm not bitter though. 267 00:15:47,126 --> 00:15:51,256 I love [Bleep] men. I have always loved [Bleep] men. 268 00:15:51,330 --> 00:15:54,026 I'll never forget the first time I fell in love. 269 00:15:54,100 --> 00:15:56,933 I was about 18 years old, you know. 270 00:15:58,905 --> 00:16:00,930 I'll never forget it. 271 00:16:01,007 --> 00:16:04,534 I was just waiting for the right man to come and sweep me right off my feet. 272 00:16:04,610 --> 00:16:06,544 Just sweep me off my feet. 273 00:16:06,612 --> 00:16:10,104 Not use me like a [Bleep] Ride at Disney World! 274 00:16:10,183 --> 00:16:12,413 [Screaming] 275 00:16:12,485 --> 00:16:15,318 But I still remember the first one. 276 00:16:15,388 --> 00:16:18,585 That's right. Wrote a little song about him. He looked something like you. 277 00:16:18,658 --> 00:16:22,526 Mr. Smooth there in the front row. How you doin'? I bet you've been in love, sir. 278 00:16:22,595 --> 00:16:25,325 I bet you've taken some young lady under your arm, sir. 279 00:16:25,398 --> 00:16:27,798 I bet you told her you loved her, and she believed you. 280 00:16:27,867 --> 00:16:31,701 I'd like to sing a song that I wrote for my honey lamb. It goes something like this. 281 00:16:31,771 --> 00:16:34,604 You [Bleep] bastard! You broke my heart! 282 00:16:34,674 --> 00:16:38,007 You said you loved me, you lying son of a bitch! 283 00:16:38,077 --> 00:16:40,068 You lame-ass [Bleep]! 284 00:16:40,146 --> 00:16:44,242 I never felt your [Bleep]! I never felt your [Bleep]! 285 00:16:47,286 --> 00:16:50,619 [Man] You'll laugh, you'll gas, you'll burn in hell. 286 00:16:50,690 --> 00:16:54,626 Samantha Kinison. This month on HBO. 287 00:17:01,100 --> 00:17:05,560 ♪♪ [Rapping] 288 00:17:25,124 --> 00:17:28,059 ♪♪ [Continues] 289 00:17:34,734 --> 00:17:38,363 [Man] And now it's time for another visit with The Buttmans. 290 00:17:44,710 --> 00:17:46,905 Ooh, it's cold out there. 291 00:17:46,979 --> 00:17:49,743 Buff? Honey, are you home? 292 00:17:49,815 --> 00:17:53,216 [Woman] Hi, dear. I'm just finishing up in the kitchen. 293 00:17:53,286 --> 00:17:56,483 - How was your day? - Oh, terrible. 294 00:17:56,555 --> 00:17:58,614 I've got a splitting headache. 295 00:17:59,992 --> 00:18:02,187 Oh, whoo. 296 00:18:02,261 --> 00:18:06,664 Whoo! I just feel like my head's about to crack wide open. 297 00:18:08,768 --> 00:18:11,066 Oh, that's awful. 298 00:18:11,137 --> 00:18:13,162 - Here. - Oh, thanks, hon. 299 00:18:13,239 --> 00:18:15,173 Let me massage your temples. 300 00:18:15,241 --> 00:18:17,266 Aw. 301 00:18:17,343 --> 00:18:20,312 - Was there anything in particular that bothered you today? - [Can Opens] 302 00:18:20,379 --> 00:18:24,110 I don't know. It's just that since I started losing my hair... 303 00:18:24,183 --> 00:18:27,277 it seems like the guys around the loading dock are laughing behind my back. 304 00:18:27,353 --> 00:18:29,321 Oh. 305 00:18:29,388 --> 00:18:31,948 And besides that, I split this pair of pants today... 306 00:18:32,024 --> 00:18:34,015 bending down to pick up a crate. 307 00:18:34,093 --> 00:18:36,459 - Look at that. - Oh, that's awful. 308 00:18:36,529 --> 00:18:39,726 It must be a faulty pair. We should complain to the manufacturer. 309 00:18:39,799 --> 00:18:42,029 - You're darn right. - Is there a label in there? 310 00:18:42,101 --> 00:18:45,332 Well, let's see. They usually keep one around the, uh... 311 00:18:45,404 --> 00:18:47,599 [Muffled] 312 00:18:52,244 --> 00:18:55,975 Oh, what the hell. Another 20 bucks down the hole. 313 00:18:59,885 --> 00:19:03,218 - How was your day? - You know, the oddest thing happened. 314 00:19:03,289 --> 00:19:06,087 Remember that time we took the kids on the roller coaster ride... 315 00:19:06,158 --> 00:19:08,626 and we couldn't figure out what that whistling sound was? 316 00:19:08,694 --> 00:19:12,562 Yeah. It sounded like a hillbilly jug band or something. 317 00:19:12,631 --> 00:19:14,997 Well, on the way to school today... 318 00:19:15,067 --> 00:19:18,332 Jimmy stuck his head out the window, and I heard it again. 319 00:19:18,404 --> 00:19:21,464 - Weird. - [Knocking On Door] 320 00:19:21,540 --> 00:19:24,202 Must be the kids. Must have forgot their keys again. 321 00:19:27,813 --> 00:19:29,940 Aw, how's my little buddies? 322 00:19:30,016 --> 00:19:32,007 Whew. It's cold out there. 323 00:19:32,084 --> 00:19:34,314 Talk about freezing your face off. 324 00:19:35,421 --> 00:19:37,651 - Hi, Daddy. - Hi, muffin. 325 00:19:37,723 --> 00:19:40,988 - I brought the mail in. - Oh, thank you. 326 00:19:41,060 --> 00:19:42,994 How was school today? 327 00:19:43,062 --> 00:19:46,725 It was fine, exceptJimmy got in trouble 'cause he kept giving Miss Jenkins raspberries. 328 00:19:46,799 --> 00:19:48,733 - Did not! - You did too. 329 00:19:48,801 --> 00:19:50,735 - Not! Not! - You did too! 330 00:19:50,803 --> 00:19:52,771 - [Raspberries] - [Raspberries] 331 00:19:52,838 --> 00:19:55,671 - Stop that. I'll have none of that in my house. - [Raspberry] 332 00:19:55,741 --> 00:19:58,972 - And you, young man. What's this on the back of your head? - What, Dad? 333 00:19:59,045 --> 00:20:02,412 - This. - Aw, they did it again? 334 00:20:02,481 --> 00:20:04,415 "Planet Uranus." 335 00:20:05,885 --> 00:20:08,445 - What does that mean? - I don't know, Son. 336 00:20:08,521 --> 00:20:11,012 Probably just some more of that asinine humor. 337 00:20:11,090 --> 00:20:14,491 You're gonna have to learn just to turn the other cheek. 338 00:20:16,295 --> 00:20:18,490 Daddy? 339 00:20:18,564 --> 00:20:21,431 - Yes, pumpkin? - Daddy, can I get some, um, hair extensions? 340 00:20:21,500 --> 00:20:25,266 Oh, pumpkin, you need that like you need another hole in your head. 341 00:20:26,338 --> 00:20:29,273 Daddy, but the boys seem to like 'em. 342 00:20:29,341 --> 00:20:33,004 Well, those boys are just packing your head full of nonsense. 343 00:20:33,079 --> 00:20:35,741 - [Doorbell Rings] - I'll get it. 344 00:20:39,652 --> 00:20:41,586 - Mrs. Buttman? - Yes. 345 00:20:41,654 --> 00:20:44,817 - Gas man. - We didn't call the gas man. 346 00:20:44,890 --> 00:20:47,916 Good God! 347 00:20:47,993 --> 00:20:50,985 It smells like foot and ass in this house. 348 00:20:52,031 --> 00:20:54,329 Whoo! 349 00:20:54,400 --> 00:20:56,630 Man! 350 00:20:56,702 --> 00:21:00,194 Uh, there's been a report of a gas leak in the neighborhood... 351 00:21:00,272 --> 00:21:04,038 and, uh, judging from the smell of things, I think it's coming from this house. 352 00:21:05,744 --> 00:21:08,269 - I don't smell anything. Do you smell anything? - No, Ma. 353 00:21:08,347 --> 00:21:10,815 Not at all. 354 00:21:10,883 --> 00:21:13,875 You might want to check next door at the Dickens house. 355 00:21:13,953 --> 00:21:15,921 Thanks a lot, Mr. Buttman. 356 00:21:15,988 --> 00:21:18,286 Look here, man, if y'all ain't gonna light a match... 357 00:21:18,357 --> 00:21:20,291 invest in some incense. 358 00:21:20,359 --> 00:21:22,293 Whoo! 359 00:21:23,629 --> 00:21:24,960 [Jimmy Laughing] 360 00:21:25,030 --> 00:21:27,658 - Everybody, come here. You've gotta see this. - [Dad] What? 361 00:21:27,733 --> 00:21:29,496 Oh, just come on. You'll see. 362 00:21:31,871 --> 00:21:34,101 - [All] Ooh! - Wow! 363 00:21:34,173 --> 00:21:36,107 - It's a full moon. - A full moon. 364 00:21:37,910 --> 00:21:41,937 You know, sometimes I think the moon was madejust for us. 365 00:21:42,014 --> 00:21:44,039 - Mm-hmm. - [Man]Join us again next week... 366 00:21:44,116 --> 00:21:47,313 for more ass-backward antics with The Buttmans. 367 00:21:55,794 --> 00:21:57,762 Thank you very much. 368 00:21:57,830 --> 00:22:01,857 We had a lot of fun this season. We want everybody to have a fun and safe summer... 369 00:22:01,934 --> 00:22:04,368 - and we'll see you in the fall. - [Tommy] Later. 370 00:22:57,923 --> 00:23:00,949 ♪ You can do what you wanna do ♪ 371 00:23:01,026 --> 00:23:02,960 ♪ In living color♪♪